Thursday, April 9, 2015

On Professionalism vs. Speaking Your Truth

As gay, Asian men, the balance between the image we project at work and the expression of our inner selves may often conflict. Just recently, I spent several hours constructing an aggressively tall Easter bonnet to enter a local contest at a gay bar here in Chicago. Here's a photo of me and my friend, fashion designer, Kevin Vong. Kevin took first place and I took a respectable third, considering the tough competition.


Now, some would consider this decision as a move that might compromise my professional life. While I'm a writer for a trade magazine, I'm not necessarily in the spotlight representing my company; nor am I in a leadership position. That being said, such overt displays of femininity may certainly compromise my ability to move into a leadership role going into the future.

My retort? I have none. I am openly gay at work, and in my mind, the bosses above me will have already judged me--either believing that it makes a difference or that it doesn't. In their gut, they're going to believe one thing or the other. You may disagree, but I don't think they're going to change any of their opinions if they see me in this outfit or not. If they feel negatively about a gay man in leadership, this photo will affirm their belief. If they don't, then they'll think, live and let live.

In this age of social media, I have to go back to my high school days to find something about me that wasn't overtly gay. So for me personally, I crossed that line decades ago.

So in terms of how much do I put out there regarding my own personal expression? What kind of a balancing act do I play with who I am and how I want to be perceived as at work? Well, apparently, I stand defiant in choosing my inner truth above all else.

Now, I'm not going to walk into work dressed like this--hell, I'm not going to walk into a gay bar dressed like this unless it's Easter or I'm just feeling pretty. And doing so wouldn't be speaking my truth either.

But I am through with any real pretense. This wasn't a half-ass hat. It took boning, stitching and a twisted eye. I'm proud of this, as I am proud of being an accomplished, award-winning writer and upbeat, supportive team player at work.

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