I'm setting up shop--again, as I try to reshape my life to devote more time to this blog and its companion, GAM Express (about gay, Asian men and their forms of self-expression), please forgive my inconsistency, but know that my intentions are vital and sincere. I am picking up the pen once more to try again.
OK.
I met a wonderful female-identifying and visually female bank teller from Mississippi last night. She was a dear school chum of a good friend of mine visiting Chicago for the weekend. She still has a dick but showed off only her lovely butterfly high heels. Five of us partied at a local drag restaurant and lounge here in the city's Boystown area. She called herself a conservative person, having risen up the ranks at her bank into a supervisory position.
I immediately understood where she was coming from. While I was in a boho-chic drag number, I got the fact that her gender/sex/personal identity stood separate from her values, priorities and actions while on the job, or even on a personal level--politically, financially and socio-economically. None of that stuff has to jibe if it all comes from a thoughtfully grounded place. It's great to be so self-aware. I know I'd need a bit of introspection to get to that place myself.
But not all was roses and champagne in Mississippi. While she was pleased with the GLBT policies and internal mantras within her bank that allowed her to elevate professionally, she wasn't completely out. If many of the people she worked with knew of her gender reality, she felt they would probably disapprove, possibly ask for reassignment or walk. I got that too. I don't know if I would come out if I were in her butterfly shoes, but I do know we all pick our battles. If professional success is a challenge we all face, then we must act as our own generals, craft our own strategies and act deliberately.
As I develop this blog going forward, its mission will be to advocate for the financial success of gay, Asian men. We have many roadblocks, including self-hate and external stereotypes that keep us from assuming formidable positions within the workplace. One of our roadblocks is acceptance, both internally and among people who we conduct business with. We all struggle with this double-edged sword. In meeting my new bank teller friend (I'll assume it's the start of a potential friendship), I began to better imagine my own, soon-to-be-formulated professional life--one that starts with a complete stem-to-stern examination of who I am, inside and out. I'm considering this step because in meeting this new friend, I saw someone who was determined not to let who she was be her downfall. I saw someone interested in succeeding. But in order for her to do so, she had to settle up her own house, make it shine in her eyes and move forward with that.
Sincerely,
Angel Bright
(My new pen name for this blog and GAM Express, which focuses on how gay, Asian men express their spirits, their hearts and their souls.)
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